I Died Happy
by mahhhfy
Summary: A song on the radio makes Booth and Bones come to terms with the events of the night Booth was shot; Booth finds out about Sweets' experiment. Season 3 spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first fanfic. It began as a little one-shot I published a while back, but I felt the need to republish it and add to it. Season 3 spoilers._

_At this point, Booth and Brennan can be in a relationship or not, but I might decide to turn this into a catch-up-to-their-own-reality fic. Until I make that decision, the choice of whether or not they're together is up to you, the reader._

_I don't own Bones or these awesome characters : (_

CHAPTER 1

Booth was in a great mood. He and Bones had just finished the paperwork on their last case. It was a beautiful evening; he was in his SUV with the windows open and the radio on. The smell of Thai food wafted up to him from the back seat, and his beautiful partner was sitting next to him with a serene smile on her face. Even the traffic didn't bother him because it let him watch the sunset with his Bones.

When they were almost to Brennan's apartment, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" came on the radio, and Booth couldn't believe his luck.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed as he turned up the volume, "This day keeps getting better and better!"

Brennan, on the other hand, didn't hear his excitement, because the second the song began she could no longer hear or see anything around her. She felt cold and she could see nothing but the look on Booth's face as she remembered him bleeding beneath her hands. After a moment or two, she snapped back into reality and immediately turned the radio off.

"Hey!" he whined. "What'd you do that for, I love that song!" but as soon as he turned to look at her he saw she was really upset. He hadn't meant to upset her, and wasn't all that sure how exactly he'd done it, but now all he could think of was what he could do to make it better.

Brennan was truly shocked speechless. She had come to accept that Booth did or said things that were not logical, but this she could not understand at all. _He __wants__ to hear this song? _

Neither of them spoke as he pulled into her parking garage or as they continued up to her apartment, each lost in their own thoughts. When they got inside, Brennan headed straight for the living room while Booth went to the kitchen to put the food down.

When he joined her in the living room he could clearly see she was agitated. She paced back and forth in front of him at a dizzying speed and seemed oblivious to his presence until he finally asked "Bones, what's wrong?"

She stopped pacing and whirled on him with wild eyes and asked, "How can you even _listen_ to that song? That's the song I was singing to you when you were shot! Even I can see how that should have some kind of psychological impact, and you not only listen to it but you actually enjoy it? It's completely illogical!"

He was very confused. "You're angry with me because I like a song?" _I'm__ the one who's not making sense here?_

"Yes! I know that you are extremely strong mentally as well as physically. You would therefore be more than capable of getting past being shot, but come on, Booth! You _died _while I was singing that song to you!"

He was having so much trouble trying to keep up with her feelings that it was nearly impossible to express his own clearly. The only response he could give her was, "Exactly!"

She blinked a few times, and said nothing.

Seeley Booth didn't make any sense. And once again Temperance Brennan was speechless. She was overwhelmed by the memories of that horrible night and the two weeks of emptiness that followed; she suddenly felt exhausted by her partner and had no idea how to proceed.

"I… I…" She sat down on the couch and Booth joined her. She looked at him with tear-filled eyes and her voice broke as she said, "I don't know what that means," and began to cry.

"Oh, Bones," he said as he pulled her into a tight hug and let her cry.

He held her to him and tried to comfort her, gently shushing and rubbing soft circles on her back. After a few minutes he said,

"Bones, I like to listen to that song _because _it was the song you sang that night, and when I hear it, it makes me think of when you sang."

She sniffed and pulled back from him to look him in the eyes. She looked for anything that could help her understand, but his eyes didn't hold any more answers than his words. "But Pam Nunan shot you in the middle of it. She shot you." The more she spoke, the angrier she got. "While I was singing she took out a gun and attempted to shoot me but you just _had_ to save me, didn't you Booth? What Sweets did was wrong, yes, but that doesn't change the fact that you willingly stepped in front of a bullet! And she KILLED you, you bastard!" She completely lost her original thought as she once again dissolved into tears and clung to him.

At the mention of Pam possibly shooting Brennan, Booth had visibly flinched. He didn't like to think of what could have happened that night if he hadn't been quick enough. When she began to cry, something she almost never allowed herself to do, he felt like the scum of the Earth to put her through this just because of a song.

He had known she had really been affected by his death, even if she never showed her emotions to the people around her at the time. It was something else entirely to witness even a glimpse of those emotions himself, and it broke his heart to see it. He held her tightly and continued to soothe her with his hands and his voice against her hair, "Shh, it's okay, Bones. I'm right here. We're here together and I'm not going anywhere."

She was about to point out the irrationality of saying he wasn't going anywhere because he obviously was going to have to get up at some point, but she remembered the irrational comment that had set her off in the first place. She pulled back again and told him exactly what was on her mind.

"Booth, you are _completely_ irrational." He chuckled softly, it was just so Bones.

She hesitated, then quietly asked, "Why do you like that song so much, Booth? Help me understand."

He was quiet for a second as he thought back on her performance, smiling at the memory. "I like it because when I hear it I think of when you sang it. Watching you sing is one of my favorite memories. You were incredible Bones."

She gaped at him, "But-"

"I know what happened after, but you singing is not something I would ever remember badly or want to forget."

They sat in silence for a long minute before he said, "You know, Bones, if I had died that day, I don't think I could have picked a better death." Her eyes teared up but she couldn't speak. He saw the question in her eyes and didn't make her ask. "You were singing, and it was just _so_ beautiful. I was so happy watching you up there just having fun. It felt like the perfect moment, you know? Up until I saw Nunan pointing that gun at you." At this, he saw the flash of anger in her eyes, and this time he knew exactly why.

"I had to, Bones," he whispered. A tear silently rolled down her cheek. Booth was fighting back tears of his own; it killed him inside to know how she hated him for the pain he had caused her. He couldn't stand to see her cry without comforting her but he had to keep going.

"I know you're mad that I took the hit, but I couldn't let her hurt you, especially not because of me. When I heard a second gunshot I was terrified that she got you, but then I saw you standing over me and I was so relieved that you were okay. You were crying, and it hurt me to know that I was the reason for your tears. You looked so scared and the pain in my chest was so bad that I thought I could be really dying. I didn't want to leave you, but I would have died a happy man because the last thing that I had done was to keep you safe. The last thing I would have remembered was holding your hand and looking into your eyes."

He sighed, because he knew this next part was important and that she wouldn't want to hear it, but he also knew it had to be said. He turned to her and waited for her to look into his eyes before he continued slowly but intensely.

"I can't promise I'll never try to save your life again, even when it puts me in danger. But I can promise you that if I die," fresh tears fell down her face and she turned away from him, but he pulled her by the chin to look at him again, "if I die saving you, then I'll die happy."

She had tears streaming down her face, and it was a long time before either one of them spoke. Eventually he realized it was time to lighten things up a bit. "But I really do like that song, Bones. Although your mother was right, it's much better when you sing it," and he gave her a 1000 watt smile that she couldn't help but return.

After another several minutes of looking into each others' eyes, he stood and pulled her up with him towards the kitchen and their forgotten dinner. As they set about getting dinner ready, she recognized the mischievous sparkle in his eye he got when teased her. She was about to ask him about it when he smiled at her and said, "So…"

"What?"

"Psychological impact, huh? Sweets will be thrilled when he figures out that you've actually been listening to him."

She smiled and gasped, feigning horror. "You're not going to tell him, are you?"

He pretended to consider carefully before saying, "Nope, your secret's safe with me. But I'm sure the kid will be able to figure it out on his own sooner or later. He's pretty quick, you know," he said, hoping she would take the bait.

"I don't see how his speed would help him discern any kind of information about us, nor do I think I've ever seen him move with any degree of swiftness now that I think about it." She furrowed her brow as she thought of the matter, and Booth couldn't help but laugh at the expected but no-less-amusing response. She finally said, "Perhaps you're right, I may have to be more careful. He is considered a prodigy within his field, despite the unscientific nature of psychology, and he really is quite intelligent." As an afterthought, she added, "Though he would have to be to work with us, because you and I are the best at what we do,"

He smiled at her. "Yeah, Bones. We're the best."

_I love comments and criticisms, so please give me whatever you've got, I want to hear from you!_


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

While they were in the SUV the next day, Booth kept thinking about their night. Most of it was spent in a typical way, cuddling on the couch after dinner and talking about anything and everything, but something was bothering him about their conversation before dinner.

While Bones was yelling at him, she had said that Sweets did something wrong. Booth couldn't remember Sweets doing anything that night at the Checkerbox that should bother her. He didn't have anything to do with the nut who shot him. Booth didn't think about that comment when she made it because he was still trying to get the bigger picture. But the more he thought about their discussion the night before, the more it stuck out to him as odd. He put it out of his mind when they reached their new crime scene, but on the way to an appointment with Sweets he continued thinking about that night so long ago and what Bones could have possibly meant by her comment last night.

After her little boast about being a better singer than Cyndi Lauper he hadn't been able to get the thought of hearing her sing out of his mind, so he called all their friends to plan a night of fun. They went to the Checkerbox to surprise her; Booth talked to the pianist and showed him her picture and made sure he would start playing the right song when she got there. Sweets did have to talk her into singing, but it was Booth's idea in the first place, and he was the one who literally pushed her onto the stage. She got up there and had that determined look in her eye he often saw when she was trying to prove something to him, and she did prove that she was a very good singer.

It really was one of the happiest moments of his life. The way she looked at him was like she was singing to him, and only him. He felt like they were the only two people in the world. It never ceased to amaze him how beautiful and wonderful this woman was, how much he loved her, or how her voice while she sang was just one more of the many things that made Bones so incredible.

Then everything happened so fast. He heard his name and then he saw Pam Nunan with a gun. In that second, he had realized that Sweets was right, the woman was crazy and now she had a gun pointed at his Bones. He only had time to think "No!" before he felt the burn in his chest, followed by a desperate need to get to Bones. He saw her over him, alive and beautiful; then darkness, and he woke up to Cullen informing him of his assignment.

He understood perfectly why she was angry with him, but what did Sweets do wrong? He decided to bring it up when they got to their appointment.

After the initial small talk of their session, Booth dove right in.

"So Sweets, last night Bones and I talked about the night I was shot at the Checkerbox. I guess that's important or interesting or something, and now we have to discuss it, right?"

Brennan was horrified. "Booth!"

Sweets looked like a hungry dog that had just been thrown a huge steak. "I-uh- yeah, Booth, it is. I'm just a little surprised you decided to share that with me."

"So am I," Brennan threw in.

"Yeah, I thought you'd think that. See, Bones was mad at me because I took the hit and could have died. I get that, I really do," Booth said. "And I hope she understands now that I can't let anything hurt her if there's anything I can do about it, even if she doesn't like it much."

"No, I don't understand or like it at all. Your alpha-male need to be my protector is dangerous and one day it will get you killed again," Bones responded in a huff.

"It's interesting that you say it will get him killed _again_," Sweets interjected, but Booth was not going to let Sweets take control of his interrogation. Besides, Bones was mad enough that he brought the subject up at all, there was no way he would subject her to Sweets' analyzing if he could avoid it.

"No, Sweets, that's not what's interesting. What is interesting is that Bones holds you responsible. She blames you for something and has felt the need to hide that something from me for years."

Brennan and Sweets suddenly found making eye contact with Booth utterly impossible.

After an awkward moment, Sweets said, "Would you believe she blames me because I supported your plan to get her to get on stage?"

"That's a ridiculous assumption since your little experiment had no absolutely influence over Booth's overprotective alpha-male behavior," Brennan snapped.

"Experiment? What experiment?" Booth asked, jumping on the new piece of information.

They both refused to answer his question. Sweets looked like a suspect who just realized he was caught and was going to jail, while Bones looked more like Parker when he got caught doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to do.

"Bones?" He waited until she finally dragged her eyes to his. "What experiment are you talking about?" She was clearly uncomfortable under his stare, but after a silent conversation between the two of them she finally relented.

In her most detached clinical voice, she said, "Sweets chose not inform me of the actual circumstances of the situation because he wanted to observe how I would react to your death and the subsequent revelation that you were not actually deceased."

"He did WHAT?" he yelled furiously. He immediately stood and got right into Sweets' personal space to intimidate him. "You. Start talking."

Sweets, as soon as Booth stood, attempted to flee from his very dangerous position in front of the very pissed off federal agent, but Booth was too quick to allow him any avenue for escape. "I—I…" Sweets had no way to explain his actions, especially because of his overwhelming fear of Agent Booth's rage.

"I want an answer, Sweets…" he growled, getting even closer to the terrified psychologist.

"She's right," Sweets finally admitted. "That's exactly what I did. I didn't know you two as well at the time or understand the relationship between you, and I hurt you both and your relationship because of my own selfish actions." He hung his head. "I'm so sorry."

"And you think that just because you say you're sorry that in any way makes it okay? Do you have ANY idea what you did to her?" He kept inching closer as he spoke while Sweets tried to back away and simultaneously seemed to shrink into himself.

"Booth…" Brennan began, but he didn't hear her.

"…How hard I had to work for MONTHS to earn her trust again?" He was seething with anger while Brennan felt a little guilty as she remembered how she shut him out for a long time after the incident. "How can you expect us to trust you after something like that? You had NO right to interfere! If I had my gun with me—"

"Booth!" Brennan finally yelled, afraid that he might do or say something to Sweets that he might regret later or that could cause lasting damage to his position at the FBI. "I think it's time for us to go. Now, Booth. Goodbye, Dr. Sweets" she said, dragging Booth out of the office by his arm.

_Sometimes I just can't resist an angry Booth. =) _


	3. Chapter 3

_Wow. So I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again, huh? Here's the next chapter in the tale. The story has now been changed to complete because the story really could end here, but I might add one more chapter. Every time I think it's done I come up with more things to say (one of the many reason it's taken so long to post chapter 3). But for now I'll say it's done, and if I decide to go through with a chapter 4 or 5 then it will just be a pleasant surprise._

_I still don't own them._

CHAPTER 3

Brennan was the first to break the tense silence in the SUV.

"Are you angry?" she asked quietly.

"Of course I'm angry!" he said. "He had no right to do that to us. He messed with our partnership, and he let you believe I was dead for two weeks. There's no amount of apologizing that he can do that will ever make up for that."

She hesitated, then asked, "But are you angry with me?"

Booth sighed. "Bones, why didn't you tell me?"

She was quiet for a moment, then said, "I confronted Sweets about his actions shortly after you found out it was his responsibility to tell me. I had guessed his motivations, and made it very clear that experimentation would not be tolerated by either one of us."

"That doesn't explain why you couldn't tell me about it," he countered.

"At the time I told him that if you ever found out you would beat him up, which I believed was true. When you stormed into my office that day to tell me Sweets was the one who held the information back I could tell you were angry. If you were to find out that he was lying, I believe you would have hurt him. Given your current desire for your gun, I imagine I was right."

"So you covered for him."

"Yes," she admitted, "but I told him never to do it again. If he were to do anything like that again, I don't believe I would protect him from you."

At that Booth smiled. "Don't worry Bones, I would never really hurt your baby duck."

Brennan smiled too, then said, "Booth? You haven't answered my question."

"No, I'm not angry with you," he said. "I understand why you didn't tell me. I'm just really pissed at Sweets for deliberately ignoring my wishes and lying to you. He just sat there and watched you suffer. And now I find out he was just experimenting on us? On you? You're right, I do want to shoot him," he grumbled as he turned his head back towards the road. After a minute he sighed and said, "I guess I'm a little angry with me too."

"What? Booth, no" she immediately said.

"No, Bones, in a way you were right, I am the reason for all of this. I was the one who was careless around the woman who all accounts say was halfway to the loony bin already, and got myself shot in the chest. Not that I'm apologizing for it at all, like I said I still fully believe that protecting you was the right thing to do, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would happily die before I ever let anyone get to you. But that doesn't change the fact that I am the reason this all happened in the first place."

"No. I don't believe that. Nunan…"

"I know Bones, that's why I'm not sorry; I know I would never be able to live with myself if I let you get shot. If you had died that night…" He couldn't think about that. "But I did hurt you. You were right, I should have known better than to let the Bureau let you know what was going on. I should have found some way to contact you. It's my job to protect you from pain, not cause it. You thought I was dead and you … you…" His voice cracked as he spoke. "I hurt you, Bones."

"Yes, it hurt me." She said quietly. "Your death was… agonizing. But you can't take the blame for that upon yourself. You did the only thing you could do in the situation. You were shot by a woman with a mental imbalance."

"But that's just it Bones, maybe if I was able to shoot her first—"

"Stop." She was getting slightly annoyed that he wouldn't listen to reason. Despite the fact that just yesterday she had been yelling at him for the exact reasons he was now angry with himself, she just couldn't let him continue with his self-recrimination. "I was watching you the entire time, I saw the whole thing happen so I know for certain that there was no time for you to even get your gun out. You did not actually die and even if you did I'm sure you wouldn't have done so on purpose. Don't torture yourself over this. I trust your instincts and you should too. I trust you Booth. You would _never _hurt me intentionally."

After a long moment to let that sink in, she continued. "I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. My anger was irrational. The circumstances were unfortunate, and clearly you didn't die. Since that time I have convinced myself that you are okay. You are alive now, you are alive and you are not hurt."

Booth's gut went haywire. He couldn't figure out why, but he just didn't think she completely believed her own words. He was only a few blocks from his house, so he drove there and when they pulled up he turned to her and said, "Come with me."

* * *

She followed him without a word as he took her to his apartment and shut the door. Neither one of them had any idea where this was going. She was following his lead, and he was just following his gut. After a moment or two of staring at each other in silence, he pulled his shirt off.

Her eyes immediately left his and glued themselves to the small, almost invisible scar on his left shoulder. She contemplated it for a while. There was small circle from the bullet's entry and a short line from the surgery to remove it. Not even two inches in length, but the damage had been real. It was such a small remainder of the wound that shattered her world and left a gaping hole in her own chest that lasted long after the nightmare was over. She thought it was strange how bullets were so tiny in comparison to the impacts they could have. She had imagined the scar from the surgery would be longer, considering the hours waiting through his surgery were some of the longest of her life.

Her logical mind would have noted that she was being overly philosophical and emotional about something as simple as a scar—after all it was just a mark on the skin where it had regrown after some damage—but at that moment logic was entirely out of reach.

For a long time she stared at that scar, tangible proof that he would give his life for her without hesitation. She touched it lightly and he trembled.

"Thank you for saving my life"

"Any time, Bones."

_Any time_… She knew he meant it. But she'd had a taste of life without him, and although she could survive physically without him, she didn't want to. She finally pulled her eyes from the scar to look deep into his eyes and said, "I love you, Booth." She was surprised how good it felt to say that to him.

"I love you too, Bones." No hesitation.

Neither one of them moved—she was very nervous and unsure of what to do next, and he wasn't sure if she was just giving him the same old crap about loving him professionally. Not that it was really important at that moment.

Then, she leaned forward and kissed his scar. Booth was frozen; he couldn't move a muscle even if he wanted to. Brennan moved closer and kissed his lips, softly at first but when he responded she deepened the kiss. Suddenly she felt an overwhelming urge to make sure he understood exactly how she felt about him.

"I _love_ you, Booth."

One look in her eyes and Booth knew exactly what she meant. He never saw anything as beautiful as Temperance Brennan in love. And she was in love with him. He was so happy his brilliant smile turned into laughter. He kissed her again, happy to savor the moment that had been such a long time coming. "I love you too, Bones. I love you so very much," he said as he kissed her some more.

Then he remembered that he brought her here for a reason: he was worried about her. He pulled back and grabbed her hand, and gently placed it over his heart.

"Do you feel that?" he asked her.

She nodded.

He pulled her head towards him until it lay against his chest and asked, "Do you hear that?"

"Yes. It's your heartbeat. It's beating regularly and sounds quite powerful, which is indicative of a strong and healthy heart." After a moment she said, "I find this rather calming. And inexplicably comforting."

He smiled. To that, all he could say was, "I love you, Bones."

_What do you think, should it end here or should I keep going? I have some ideas for a first date, or for their revenge on Sweets... _


End file.
